I Must Say
by Sweet Ashori
Summary: However, the one emotion she never thought she'd feel was jealousy. "Judy, you... you love me?"
Disclaimer: I don't own Zootopia. Obviously.

Authoress' Note: Okay, so... just saw this movie today and already I've started to ship Nick x Judy. They're just too cute together, and it doesn't help that the two of them were practically shippable from the beginning! So now here I am, writing a fanfic.

Please note that this is the first time I've ever written a fanfic featuring anthropomorphic characters, as well as one based off a movie instead of a TV show or anime that usually gives a lot more time to character and relationship development. So I apologize if this isn't all that great, but I still implore you to enjoy!

I Must Say

Officer Judy Hopps was emotional; she can admit to that. Sometimes she'll go through six emotions in six seconds. It's just part of who she was. However, the one emotion she never thought she'd feel was jealousy.

And especially when that feeling was directed towards her fellow officers. In particular, the female officers. To be more precise, the female officers that liked to hang around her partner, confox-turned-cop Nick Wilde.

In the months that had past since the missing mammals case wrapped up and Nick's arrival on the force, the young gray-furred rabbit had been juggling her feelings for the fox that once caused her such grief. The two had jokingly in the past stated they loved each other, although she thought that it was only because they were friends. However, even if she hadn't wished for it, Judy began to truly feel love for him.

However, she couldn't tell him. Even though she wanted to, she couldn't. She feared being rejected, feared being laughed at, but the most she feared was losing her friendship with Nick. She didn't want these feelings to ruin their partnership as co-workers as well. For all of those reasons, she had kept her feelings in check.

Although that didn't stop her from being jealous. Every once in awhile, the two of them went on separate patrols, and occasionally Nick was assigned with another female officer. Judy often observed those officers acting rather flirty with the red-furred fox and, with a bit of pain, watched Nick casually flirt back.

She understood enough – he's a fox; they're sly and think they're just so darn fine – but it hurt her to see the animal of her affections flirting with someone else. She didn't want to think about him dating someone else, although the thought crossed her mind on occasion. Sometimes it made her angry with herself for thinking such things; other times it left her trying to hide somewhere where no one could see her cry.

This particular day, she felt those feelings again. Judy came in early for her shift, having been required to attend a morning meeting with Chief Bogo, while Nick had already started his shift. He was assigned a female partner – a lioness named Liona, if she remembered correctly – and upon arriving to the meeting room, she watched as the two sat together. The lioness was being very obvious in her flirting, and the rabbit swore that she was staring directly at her as she did. Nick was oblivious to it, it seemed, as he carried on like normal.

It was very painful to watch, but unlike other times where she could escape for a few minutes to cry it out, she couldn't leave right as the meeting was about to began. So she sat there, paws balled into fists and her eyes stinging from the tears she was trying so hard not to drop. She tried to focus on the meeting, but found it hard to tune out some of the whispers she kept hearing from those two.

Nothing made her happier when Chief Bogo dismissed them; she ran as fast as she could out of the room and towards the nearest bathroom to finally release her emotions in secret.

* * *

Judy sighed as she plopped down into a beanbag. _'Two hours until my shift... no point in going back home. Might as well hang out here,'_ she thought, placing in her earbuds and turned up her music player to as loud as she could stand it.

Sometimes she liked to hang out in the commons room. It had everything to relax: comfy chairs, a great view of Zootopia, a TV playing some local channels, and more. Her favorite place was a beanbag chair that faced the window that looked out on a local park, and she loved watching the many animals enjoying the day outside. Occasionally, like today, she would take a small nap with her favorite music playing.

Sometimes doing that helped her calm down. Just lay back, relax, and nap... tune out the world around her... she would feel at peace; nothing to disturb her, no one to annoy her...

"Hello! Earth to Carrots!"

The voice was so loud she could hear it over her music; Judy's eyes popped wide open and she even jumped slightly out of the beanbag in surprise. "Huh, wha!?" she exclaimed, removing her earbuds in a fast and frantic fit.

"I was calling your name for the last two minutes. Maybe you should turn down the music?"

Judy tried to fight back a bit of embarrassed blush that wanted to stain her cheeks, turning off her music player and sticking it back into her pocket, "Sorry, Nick. I wanted to lay back and relax. I still have two hours to go before my shift starts."

The redfox shrugged his shoulders, "Sorry. Want me to leave you alone?"

Judy shook her head in response. Nick smiled and took a seat next to her on the beanbag, much to her slight surprise. "So... what are you doing? I thought you were assigned with Liona today?" she asked, hoping that conversation will alleviate her personal awkwardness.

 _'Why today? Why now? After earlier... why?'_

"Chief had her go to another call; told me to stay here until she returns. Fine by me; I didn't feel like doing much today."

"O-oh... I wonder what's up."

"No idea. But guess it's fine, since I get to spend some time with my favorite bunny," Nick said with a smirk, "I saw you at the meeting this morning, but you ran out pretty fast afterwards. I'm kinda surprised to see you here; figured with how fast you ran out you had something you needed to do."

 _'Seeing you flirt with another animal made me cry, and I didn't want anyone to see that.'_ "I wasn't feeling too good," the bunny half-lied, "Sorry if I worried you."

Suddenly Nick looked concerned, "You alright? You're not getting sick, are you?"

 _'I'm sick of seeing you flirting with other females.'_ "I don't know... it was just an upset stomach. It could've been caused by anything."

Nick leaned in a little closer, placing a paw on Judy's forehead, "You don't feel warm, but your eyes are really puffy. You sure you're alright?"

 _'No, I'm not... I'm not fine. Please stop staring at me like this... please!'_ "Y-yeah, I'm fine!"

Judy's violet eyes shifted, trying to avoid direct contact with Nick's stare. It didn't go unnoticed and Nick's brow furrowed. "Judy, what's wrong? You're acting very weird. Well, weirder than normal," he said softly, his voice filled with worry towards his friend.

 _'Please don't say my name like that...'_ "I'm fine, really!" Judy exclaimed, her nose wrinkling.

"Okay, now I know you're lying," the fox stated, popping her lightly on the nose, "I've known you long enough to know that you wrinkle your nose when you're lying. What's wrong!?"

 _'I can't take this anymore! If this keeps up, I might...'_ Judy jumped off of the beanbag and made her way towards the door. "I'm fine, I swear! Thanks for being worried, Nick, but I'm fine! I think I'll just go home until my shift begins, okay?" she stated, trying to be convincing but could hear her voice quiver in her lie; she never was great at it and she knew that.

Nick wasn't going to have it; before she could even reach the door frame, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back around to him. "Judy, what's going on? There's something wrong and we both know it! Please just tell me!" he pleaded with her.

Her eyes widened at the sound, and tears that she didn't know she still had began to fall down her cheeks. "It's you and me! We're both what's wrong!"

 _'Judy, shut up! Don't do this!'_ "I am sick... I'm sick of seeing you with other females! I'm sick of seeing them flirt with you and watching you flirt back like it's no big deal!"

She pulled back her wrist from his grip, closing her eyes so tight in order not to see Nick's reaction.

 _'Shut up! Shut up!'_ "You have no idea how much it hurts me to see that! To see you acting like that with other females! Like today with Liona; you didn't even notice how she was staring at me while she actively flirted with you, and you fell right into it!"

Her paws rested over her chest in a lackluster attempt to stop her chest from aching, her entire body shaking as much as her voice.

 _'Don't you dare say it! You'll ruin everything you two have!'_ "I want to be the only one you flirt with... I want to be your only partner! I want you to look at me, and smile at me, and act like you love me! I want you to do that with me because I'm in love with you, Nick! I love you!"

The moment those words left her lips, the commons went silent. Nothing could be heard. Judy's eyes popped open again, her breath catching in her throat. Nick's eyes were as wide as saucers, his mouth agape, and his body still. Neither of them could speak; neither of them could look away.

"Oh... oh no... Nick... I'm...!"

"Judy, you... you love me?"

"I'm... I'm..." Judy kept stuttered, but couldn't speak further. As fast as she could, she ran out of the room and down the hall, ignoring everyone and everything she went past, leaving her partner standing there in bewilderment.

Nick couldn't chase after her; his mind went blank of everything except for the echoing of her words. Judy Hopps – the rabbit officer he once loathed, but had helped in her time of need... the only animal he ever risked his own life trying to protect... his partner and closest friend – just admitted that she loved him. Yeah, they had jokingly admitted to loving each other in the past, but he thought those feelings were that of friendship. He never thought that she felt something _more_ than that..

He never really noticed that he flirted with other officers; he always took it as friendly banter. They complimented him, he'd compliment them right back; he didn't have to, but it felt like the respectful thing to do. He never once knew that, to Judy, it wasn't just like that. He never thought that there was even the possibility that she might have gotten jealous of that kind of attention.

He also never seen such a reaction out of her. He's seen her cry, but her total reaction was gut-wrenching and unbelievable. He had never seen her eyes – her beautiful, violet eyes – go from being glazed over with tears to the absolute look of shock within those few seconds. He was sure his own green eyes were the same: wide and staring on in disbelief.

However, no matter how shocking it was, he couldn't deny that his feelings for his partner did go a bit beyond just friendship as well. He never really thought about it, although maybe it was because he didn't _want_ to think about it. Perhaps, despite his better judgment, he was scared of ruining everything they had. They lost that friendship once; he didn't want to lose it again. He had to guess that she felt the same way.

He stayed in this stupor, even as Chief Bogo walked into the room, his own face etched in confusion. "Wilde, what's going on here?" the Chief asked gruffly, "Hopps just ran out of here faster than I ever seen any rabbit run."

Nick didn't react to him; he continued to stare blankly at the spot where Judy had stood.

"Wilde?" the Chief asked again.

Again, Nick didn't react, even as his boss started to become irate.

"WILDE, ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!?"

That time, Nick reacted, shaking his head and looking up at his commanding officer, "Oh, Chief... I'm sorry. I spaced out."

Chief Bogo growled, "Apparently... I asked you, what happened with Hopps? She seemed distraught and in a hurry to run out of here. I don't really care one way or the other, but it'd be nice to know why one of my officers almost ran me down in the hallway."

"Permission to leave and chase after her, sir," Nick asked, "I might have said something to make her upset. I need to rectify it right now!"

"If this is a personal matter, it can be handled after your shift."

"Uh, not really. Obviously what happened made her very upset. And if it isn't handled now, it'll affect our overall productivity. I don't think you want that to happen; you said to us before that you hate it when we get "lazy"," the redfox stated bluntly, a bit of cockiness in his voice as what was normal, and again Chief Bogo growled.

"...Fine. You have one hour. Clock out and take it as your lunch break. You better be back here right on the dot, or you will be reprimanded," the Chief reluctantly agreed, although before he could even finish speaking, Nick was already running out, "You understand me, Wilde!?"

"Yeah, yeah, got it!"

* * *

Judy seemed to have ran forever before she finally began to feel tired. Her chest was tight and her back paws hurt from the force she used. She had no idea how far she ran, or even where she ran to. All she knew was much of the city buildings were a blur to her, although not just because of her current state of sight, and her scenery replaced with tall grasses and flower fields. Rubbing the tears and sweat from her eyes, she took a good look around.

She knew this place... this was the place where she met up with Nick after learning about the Night Howlers. The place where she broke down and cried for his forgiveness after she hurt him so deeply. The place where the two made their amends and became friends agin.

Slowly she walked down the hill to where the drainage tunnel was, noticing that Nick's table and lawn chair was still there. She remembered him sitting there, chilling out under the sun, and was a little surprised to see those pieces of furniture still there. _'I guess he still comes over here sometimes,'_ Judy thought as she walked past those objects and under the tunnel.

It was dark and cool, both things the young rabbit needed. She sat down on the ground, noticing but not caring that it was a little wet, and folded in her knees. Everything was quiet, except for the sounds of her breathing and her heartbeat. Wrapping her arms around her knees, she laid her head upon them, closing her eyes as she focused on catching her breath further.

She couldn't, however, get the images out of her head of what happened. Of her confession, of her pain, but most of all, of Nick's face once those words were heard. Tears welled up in her eyes once again. She pulled herself in closer, trying to gain any sort of comfort from her own hug.

 _'I'm such a dumb bunny...'_

* * *

Nick was frantic. Twenty minutes had gone by and not once did he catch sight of Judy. He always knew she was fast, but didn't think that she could ever be THIS fast. He checked everywhere he thought she could visit and hide, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, but nothing. A few times animals had said they saw her running towards some of the city's outskirts, but couldn't specify further as to where. Once, he thought that maybe she would return home, but Nick was smarter than that: he knew that if she knew he would look for her, her home would be the only place she _wouldn't_ go.

"This is hopeless... where are you, Judy?" he muttered to himself, parking his squad car in a nearby parking lot, "Where could you have gone? Ugh, think Wilde... if you were a scared and upset rabbit, where would you go?"

Suddenly, an idea dawned on him that he hated himself for not thinking of before. Digging into his pocket, he pulled out his cell phone. "She may not pick up, but..." he muttered again, dialing in her number. He could hear it ringing over and over, so he knew that she hadn't turned hers off.

"Come on... pick up... pick up!" Nick whispered, "Please Judy... don't just ignore me!"

Finally the rings stopped, although he didn't hear any voices. "Judy? Judy, can you hear me?" he asked, "Please just tell me that."

There was no answer right away, but a few moments later he heard a quiet _"yes"_ over the line.

Relief flooded the fox's senses, even for just a moment. "Good... now where did you go?"

No response.

"Please, Judy... we need to talk about what happened. We can't just leave it like this, and we need to solve things now."

Once again, no response. Nick began to worry if the line had gone dead.

"You still there?"

" _... Yes."_

"You know we need to figure this out... don't just hide from me."

Nick heard a painful sigh over the line, followed by nothing, then just as quietly as before he heard his answer.

" _I'm at the place where we became friends again."_

With that said, the line went dead. Quickly Nick began to go over what she meant, tapping a paw on the ground below him. Then, like a light bulb going off, it dawned on him where she was and as fast as he could towards the northern outskirts of the city.

* * *

Judy didn't know what to do. Once again, against her best judgment, she acted rashly. In her paws, she kept staring at her phone, its screen blank. She stared at it for the last fifteen minutes, ever since she hung up on Nick, wondering if she should've told him.

He was right – this issue needed to be resolved – but why now? Why now when it hurts so much? Rubbing her eyes of their sting, she stood up and placed her phone back into her pocket. "Maybe he won't even come," she whispered, her voice cracking, "I knew things would turn out like this if I told him. I knew I'd ruin everything... why do things like this happen with us? I've lost him again... and I don't know if I'd... I'd be able to get things back to how they were."

"I must say, you don't make it easy to find you. You're lucky I'm so fit."

Judy gasped and quickly turned towards the sound of the voice. Standing before her, albeit a bit disheveled and out of breath, was Nick. She was surprised to him there, but yet also felt relief to see him. "Nick... I'm sorry for what I did! I didn't mean for all of that-" she began to say, only to be stopped by Nick's finger placed against her lips.

"Wait a minute. Let me catch my breath," he said, a tired smirk on his face, turning so his back touched the walls of the tunnel.

The gray rabbit nodded, mocking his motion with her head tilted towards the ground. Her nose twitched and it took all of her strength not to look up at him. She listened as his breath eventually evened out, slightly nibbling on her bottom lip. "Are you alright now?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm good," he replied, "I just want to know one real thing right now, Judy... Was what you said the truth?"

"... Yes. Yes it is," she answered, "And I want to clarify that I'm not sorry for saying that, but on how I said it and my reaction."

"For how long?"

"I don't really know... it all happened over time, so I can't tell you for sure."

"I see..." Nick said, his voice trailing off.

"Nick... I just... I want you to know that I don't expect you to say anything back! You don't even have to accept what I said, and if you want to just forget I said anything, that's fine too!" Judy rambled, "I don't want to lose your friendship. And if you don't want me to feel this way, I'll figure out a way not to. As long as it means I don't lose you as a part of my life."

Nick chuckled, "It's a little too late for that, isn't it? You said it, told me it was true... I'm not going to be able to just forget you said it."

The pain in Judy's chest returned; she thought it was her heart breaking into pieces. "O-oh... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...!" she stammered, backing away from the wall, "I'm sorry Nick! Oh no... I did ruin everything... I'm so sorry!"

Before she could even turn to run, Nick's paw wrapped around her wrist once again, and with force he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around her to prevent her escape. "Don't run off again! I don't have the energy to keep chasing after you!" he barked, "Will you just stand here and listen to me for a second before going crazy?"

He felt her nod against his chest. He sighed, regaining some of his composer, "I'm the one that should be sorry, not you. I didn't know that I was hurting you, and I definitely didn't know that you had those kinds of feelings."

"I was afraid of telling you. I didn't want to ruin what we have now," she said, although her voice was muffled.

"I get that."

"I was also scared of you not feeling the same way..."

"I get that too."

He placed a paw under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am. And I don't want you to forget anything that you feel or be afraid that we won't be friends after this. We always will be," he stated softly, "I'm not going to hold this against you. Well, not like I could anyway; Chief still has that stupid recording pen of yours in evidence."

Judy chuckled and smiled despite herself, and Nick couldn't help but do the same, "That's better... I like seeing you smile; looks a lot better than a frown."

"Thank you Nick," she replied, gently pushing herself away, but found herself unable to pull away. Her brow furrowed in confusion.

"I wasn't done talking yet, so slow down."

The pain in Judy's chest returned; she didn't like where this was going. Nick could see the hurt etching over her face, "Please don't start to cry again... Just hear me out, alright?"

"Alright..." she replied, mentally preparing herself for a rejection.

Without losing his smile, Nick spoke, "I love you too, Judy. Maybe not quite in the way you're thinking, but... I do love you. And I'm willing to make something with us work, and perhaps... no, more like definitely... one day soon, I'll be able to love you in the way you want me to. You understand that, right?"

Judy gasped, her violet eyes widening again and welling up with tears. Her ears slowly perked up, as well as her smile. "You... you mean that?" she asked squeakily.

"Have I ever lied to you? Well, have I lied to you recently?," Nick asked, shaking his head, "Okay, do you think I would lie to you about something like this?"

Judy's nose twitched and she jumped within his arms, wrapping hers around his neck as tightly as she could, "Oh, Nick... That makes me so happy!"

Nick was taken aback for a moment, not really expecting her to jump the way she did, but return the hug all the same, smiling wider at knowing that his partner – maybe he should say girlfriend now – was finally happy. He knew she was crying – he could feel his shoulder getting wet – but it wasn't from sadness or upset. He also swore he could feel her heart beat in tune with his own, and for some reason that feeling made him feel even happier and more relaxed.

Suddenly their quiet moment was interrupted by the static of Nick's police radio going off. The two parted, Judy landing back on the ground with a light thud, as the fox went to answer the radio. "Officer Wilde reporting in," he answered.

" _You're late, Wilde. Report to my office immediately."_

Nick took out his phone and saw the time, then groaned, "Yes Chief. I'll be back shortly, with Officer Hopps."

He placed his radio back in its place, then smirked at his partner, "Shall we go back?"

Judy nodded, her ears perking straight up and her lips never once faltering in its smile as she took Nick's paw into hers. As they walked back to where he had parked the squad car, she reflected on everything that had happened. At the beginning of the day, all she wanted to do was run away. Now she never wanted to let go of Nick's paw or leave his side, and she was filled with renewed hope that she never would have to. She was scared of saying those describing words, but now she didn't want to go a day without saying them.

Although, not right now. She just wanted to enjoy their quiet walk together, and the feel of their connecting fingers. This, for Judy Hopps, was all she needed for the moment. And, unknown to her, Nick was thinking the exact same thing.

 _'I love you.'_


End file.
